random hacks and pointless shenanigans

Miscellaneous Thoughts on Some "Food" I Bought at The Convenience Store Across From Work Last Week

I eat a lot of junk food. Here’s my thoughts on some new things I tried recently.

QuickChek Sliders (3 for $4, additional toppings extra)

If you’re unfamiliar with what I consider to be a uniquely Mid-Atlantic/Pennsylvanian phenomenon (namely, gas station conveninece stores having half-decent delis inside serving actual food), here’s the rundown:

  • Order food from a touchscreen kiosk
  • Wait a bit after you’ve paid
  • Enjoy a resonably-tasty sandwich, salad, or hot dog that hasn’t spent 6 hours on a roller grill

The ordering process is where things started getting a bit funky with these sliders. I wanted cheese, and the touchscreen offered a few different options (both white and yellow American, cheddar, provolone). I picked cheddar, and after I paid the people at the counter asked me if I wanted the shredded or sliced cheddar. Seemed like an odd query, and I’m going to chalk it up to unfamiliarity with a new menu item.


The sliders come in the same box they use for hot dogs.

Lies and deceit

This amused me more than the sliders themselves did.

Still not a hot dog


How do they taste? Fine. They’re okay. The beef patty reminds me uncomfortably of the hamburgers Sodexo serves in college dorm cafeterias. It’s as generic a burger as you could ever hope for. One of the available condiments is a horseradish mayonnaise, which is pretty good. I found this more interesting than the sliders themselves.


Just go to White Castle. They’re also open 24/7.

Hershey’s Candy Corn Creme Bar

A Mystery

Full disclosure: I like candy corn. Many people don’t, and that’s fine! If you don’t like candy corn, though, you’re not gonna like this candy bar. You might not like it even if you do like candy corn. I couldn’t finish this. Whatever the “candy corn creme” is made of, it’s cloying to the point of painfulness. I had one square of it, then another to confirm my findings… that was enough. The smell hits you first – crack the wrapper open and it smells strongly of sugar, a painful wave of saccharine artificiality.